It's All in My Head
by Zephyr-lilies
Summary: Seto leaves to go to university, with all his new experiences it seems like he has gotten over Jounouchi. Jounouchi still has to live with all the memories of his relationship, and realises that sometimes it’s harder to stay friends than to become enemie


It's All in My Head

A/N: Introduction in the form of a dairy entry and an e-mail. Next chapter more explanatory!

Summary: Seto leaves domino to go to university, with all the new experiences he is having it seems like he has gotten over Jounouchi. Jounouchi still at Domino High, has to live with all the memories of his relationship, and realises that sometimes it's harder to stay friends than to become enemies. Seto x Jou

**Introduction**

BRIEF MOMENTS OF SELF-DISCOVERY

_Every time I feel alone  
I can blame it on you  
And I do.  
_

_Jounouchi's one-time diary entry_

1) Can-not write a diary in nice-expensive leather diary. Tried. Failed. Induces feelings of guilt, as I am wasting lovely-only-to-be-stared-at-item. Similar to the feeling of inadequacy and unworthiness when wearing expensive man perfume.

2) ONLY GIRLS WRITE DAIRIES. (am slowly cracking I-Fucking swear)

3) NINE YEAR OLD GIRLS AT THAT (and possibly Anzu)

4) Wondering what the point of writing a diary is. Well never write truly selfish shameful thoughts down someone will only find it and gain a scary insight into my mind. I wish that person was Seto. Unlikely he'll find it when he's at the other fucking end of the country though.

5) People who write a diary never say what they mean; therefore all diary writers are all NARCISSIST BITCHES.

6) Woooh! Am self-obsessed bastard.

7)This is like talking to your self. Fucking pointless and very embarrassing.

8) Have very good reasons to abandon diary. Strange compulsion to persevere. Must be really low to start writing shit like this AGAIN. Wonder how long this one will survive?

9) Must not be associated with; nine-year-old-girls; Bridget Jones; Anne Frank and Anzu. Consider myself to be above these people (well maybe except Anne Frank.)

10) Should really be reading that bloody genetics book for that bloody university interview

11) Now the point of the preamble I HATE THAT FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT SETO KAIBA. I WISH HE WOULD JUST GET FUCKING AIDS AND DIE SLOWLY AND WHEN HE IS AT AN INCH OF HIS LIFE HE SHOULD BE EATEN ALIVE BY CROCODILES, OR POSSIBLY EVEN RATS LIKE IN AMERICAN PSYCHO. THE COLD EMOTIONLESS FUCKER!

12) I will go out tonight. Have fun. Flirt like the charming bastard I am, and I will get over him.

_Predictably Jounouchi tore up the scrap piece of paper on which he had written on, (feeling slightly re-affirmed in his masculinity, but still shit)._

_E-mail sent 2.15am whilst still living off the effects of vanilla flavoured vodka and Gin ice cubes. Also as an after-effect of shamelessly flirting with Otogi in order to regain some sort of esteem over his sexuality. He may have then spent all evening avoiding this person, only to be dragged into to a dark room to be willing assaulted, and having jam licked off his stomach._

Seto!

Haven't spoken to you in a while, where have you been hiding?

I'm going to be blunt with you because I need to just tell you what I'm thinking because I never have and now I just need for you to know what's going on in my head.

I wanted to talk to you today because I've been thinking bout you a lot recently.

Me and Otogi got a bit confused today, and that made me a bit upset because I realised;

a) I don't want that and

b) I still haven't gotten over you.

But then something good came of it, me, Yugi, Yami and Honda were all sitting in Anzu's bath tub talking about it, and as she bluntly put it that we would never be a WE again and that we are just best friends and that is all it will ever be.

And that hurt like fuck, because we sometimes act like we are more than best friends, and I guess I kind of hoped that one day we would magically get back together. I think I have my closure now. And it's odd, because I kind of feel a bit lonely now that it's SETO...and...JOUNOUCHI not setoandjou, but it's also good because I feel strangely independent and liberated. And I kind of want to cry and I kind of want to smile so right now im going for the whole zombie expression, because I figure it's in the middle of the two.

And honestly it may be a short while before im a 100 OK with me being single, but, I get us now and I wanted you to know that. I wanted you to know that you don't have to feel bad if you get another girl or boy (yeah I kind of guessed u really, really liked that Chinese girl that gets your warped politics) but I also want you to know that if you try it on with me in the holidays I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU and never speak to you again because you have been a bitch to get over.

I think I should add (since im being honest) that you are an arsehole sometimes, it always feels like im going out of my way to be friends with you and it would be nice if you RETURNED the effort. im not asking for you to phone/email/talk to me everyday because that's just a bit clingy but I think it would be nice if you stopped making me feel irrational and clingy for trying to be friends with you! because, now that I have my closure im not going to chase after you forever and if you continue to be a dickhead I will never talk to you again. (Don't worry I'm not threatening you.)

So in conclusion;

1. Moving on (at last!)

2. Don't ignore me if you get off with anyone, just tell me because I won't care and it would hurt me more thinking you have to hide it from me.

3. Stop being an idiot

4. E-mail me back and honestly for once tell me what's on your mind

5. Don't take this the wrong way, because think how bloody confused I must have been to actually tell you what I was thinking.

6. And most importantly LOOKING FORWARD TO BEING YOUR FRIEND MR KAIBA! )

I love you (and I really mean that.)

Jou

xxxx

Please review:)


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